The Nightly Coinflip

You probably think this entry is gonna be about racing a pocket pair against two overcards. Nope.

My online play stretches late into the night most of the time. And like most online players, I enjoy having some sort of audio entertainment while I work. I also happen to enjoy sports talk radio. Admitting to this guilty pleasure is kind of difficult, in the same way, i imagine, that admitting to watching professional wrestling or reading Star Magazine or buying shit off of QVC might be difficult. But right now I am willing to admit that I listen to New York’s WFAN while I play poker late at night.

Sports talk radio is not a complex or intellecual medium. And it gets exponentially less complex and less intellectual after midnight. In the early AM hours, many of the callers seem to be drunk or retarded, or both. And after midnight, the hosts aren’t fooling anyone. The pretense that they are sharing their informed opinions and shaping the callers’ statements is dropped. A drunk retard dials the number. The production guy picks up the call and puts the drunk retard on the air. Then the drunk retard rambles on for awhile about how pathetic Randy Johnson pitched that night. That’s the format. However, the host still makes a difference.

At 1:00 am each night, one of two hosts comes signs onto WFAN’s airwaves. It’s a coinflip, you see, a 50/50 proposition. If I’m lucky, the 1:00 host will be be this guy Evan Roberts. He’s funny, knowledgable, sharp, and a Mets fan. And best of all, he’s self-deprekcating about his role as overnight host, able to laugh at how drunk and retarded everyone is. But if the coin comes up tails, like it did tonight, then we have trouble. Tony Paige.

Tony Paige is the worst sports talk show host of all time. In fact, he is so bad that I am going to go back and underline that last statement. There.

Tony Paige brings nothing to the table. His voice is boring. His delivery is boring. He sounds like he’s having about as much fun as a toll booth operator. And he knows less than you or I about sports. He’s allegedly an expert on professional boxing, but I have yet to hear him say anything of remote interest relating to that or any other topic. His on-air persona is hard to describe because he’s just…. there. He’s like a slab of concrete or some other stupid pointless thing that is just… there. The only decent thing I can say about Tony Paige is that he shares his name with a man who played fullback for the New York Jets in the 1980’s. Not that this Tony Paige even knows that. I can’t stand him.

And I know i’m not the only one who feels this way. ‘Cause when this guy does the graveyard shift, hardly anyone bothers to call. So Tony drones on and on about nothing until someone finally does. And then, the contrast is amazing–drunk retards never sounded so wonderful. But then they hang up and leave me alone with Tony again.

Please, whoever is in charge at WFAN: do me a favor and fire Tony Paige.

5 thoughts on “The Nightly Coinflip

  1. I’ve been a fan of late night sports talk radio since I was twelve years old (made my first call to Steve Somers, the best talk show radio host evar, in 1988). That being said, I like Tony Paige. I like his voice, I like his style. Now, I don’t like him as much as Somers or even Benigno, but he’s not as brutal as some others. I think the worst person ever at WFAN, as a talk show host, is Ann Liguori. Now she was brutal. Some are great, others are brutal, some are acceptable. Tony Paige is acceptable.

  2. If you want some choice late night talk, pull out your tin foil hat and try AM Coast to Coast with Art Bell. Instead of sports, the subject matter is conspiracy, so the level of insight provided by the callers is particuarly high.

    It broadcasts on WABC in New York starting at 1am.

  3. You should crank call TP and try to wind him up.

    Better yet make it a contest. Combatants issue each other target words than take it in turns to call him up and try to get him to say your target word.

    (Oh and whoever you are, stop Googling my name!… stalker!)

  4. As you can see, it is 4:30-ish in the morn and I cannot sleep and, usually, that means I am listening to the “slab of concrete” that is Tony Paige! Finally, I found someone that agrees with me. That, I cannot believe but, c’est la vie! If people think that listening to someone that is supposed to be in the field of broadcasting should utter 10 “you knows” (most often, it feels like that is all he is saying (youknowyouknowyouknowyouknowyouknow…..) during a supposed monologue, I cannot help them. But, he is absolutely, unequivocally the WORST of all-time! There are some really bad hosts on the FAN and all are on the over-night….like John Jastremski and Lori Rubinson but they are close runner-ups to the all-time worst Tony Paige!

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