Or No Limit Cash Games in Casinos, are donkfests. The level of play in NLCGIC is rudimentary, all the way up to 5-10 NL. Last night I sat in a 5-10 NL game at Borgata. Due to the presence of many craptastic players, the entire experience could be distilled to the following: sit there and wait for a bad player to hand you chips.

Unfortunately, I was only able to break even because I made the cardinal mistake of bluffing an idiot. It went down like this: I pick up the A-9 of clubs in late position and raise to 75 after 3 people limp. Two of them call, and so does the small blind, who has proven to be an utterly clueless, random senseless bluffer thus far. The flop is 8-4-3 with two spades, and everyone checks. The turn is the queen of hearts and now the small blind takes a stab for $100. Everyone folds to me, and since I’m pretty sure the guy has zilch, I raise to $300. The guy thinks for a long time and calls.

The river was the queen of spades, a perfect card for me, as it completes a flush I ostensibly could have been semi-bluffing on the turn, and also puts another queen on the board, which I ostensibly might have been betting for value on the turn. The small blind dejectedly checked to me again, and I thought of the best way to get him to fold. I figured making a smallish value bet would look the scariest, so I made another $300 bet, which looked as if it was begging for a call. However, I was giving this moron credit for thinking on a level that was way beyond his capacity. He said “This is really dumb, but I’m gonna call,” then showed me pocket 7s. Nice hand sir.

Moral of the story: don’t tell complex stories to people who can barely read. I’m learning the hard way that NLCGIC’s are all about “See Spot run. Run, Spot Run!”